It's been years years now since I first laid my clumsy fingers on you, sliding up and down fingering away trying my best to bring about a clarity of sound humble yet emotionally powerful. A companion by my side even though abandoned at some point for a period of time far too long, yet even as I change you remain the same, the scars of the years proudly showing you've managed to fare the test of time much better than many others. I had forgotten you, left in a dark corner in a dark room to collect dust and decay, but I've found you, my passion and drive once again, and nothing feels better than to have you within my embrace, and now I will make you sing for the world to hear, so that others can feel your pain, insanity, love. Without you, there would be no life in this existance, because you are made of the stuff that sustains life.

I'm sorry.

To be honest, I've never really known what ive wanted to do with my life. I've never been certain of things, my confidence level when it comes to choosing is at an all time low. Everything that i might have an inkling of liking towards always either turns out for the worst, or just ends up becoming something everyone around me tells me to keep away from. From joining the One Academy to my gaming and my music. My father mostly, never encouraged me to do anything ive ever wanted to do or become, with his narrow mindedness. I know i should just put that aside and attempt to strive in it anyway, but i always turn out not doing so, and he just keeps on reminding me of what a failure i am. When applying for collages he didnt even put art or music on his mind, every second he was turning towards accounting, and business or anything in that line of work. I really wanted to do music but everyone said that music education in malaysia is really bad, do something else. I always wondered why, if its so bad here, cant you send me to another country where its good? No stay here in malaysia. So i turned to art or actually digital animation because i like playing games alot. But then when i joined the one it was totally not what i expected. The workloads here come in large amounts and are not easy. If art was my forte i probably wouldnt be complaining but now i can really see that this is not what i want to be doing. And if i back out it will just prove my dad right even more of what a failure i am. I'm pretty stuck i guess, here in this collage for 3 years of my life doing something i dont really enjoy. I just hope i get to study my music soon because honestly i havent been able to practice much with all the work i get.

Tagged by darling sandra

1) Are you really ready for 100 questions?
oh god no =-=


2) Who's the best kisser you've ever kissed?
My second girlfriend.


3) Do you believe in God?
Instead of getting into a 1000 page essay, ill just say id rather not answer this one.

4) Who did you last say "I love you" to?
My ex.

6) What's your ringtone?
Some random ass nokia tone.

7) Have a best friend?
Nope.

8) Are you a boy or girl?
I am a guy

10) How do you want to die?
Shot in the head.

11) What did you last drink?
Whiskey

12) Last call?
Tan(friend)

13) Tom from MySpace is about to go to jail, what’s your first thought?
What the fuck would he go to jail for

14) Do you have an attitude?
probably

16) Ever been in love?
Yeah, its great.

17) How much do you text?
Not much since i broke up haha

18) Like reading?
Yea, mostly graphic novels by Neil Gaiman and Blizzard related stuff.

19) Are you gonna get high later?
no, maybe next week though =)

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Of course.

21) Do you miss someone?
Very much

21) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
twirrll

22) Who is your best friend's brother's wife's daughter's boyfriend?
He's not even married, how can he have a daughter?

24) Do you tan a lot?
noo, i preffer being pale and white.

25) How exactly are you feeling?
I'm horribly depressed.

26) Ever eat food in a car while someone or your self is driving?
All the time.

28) Have you ever started a rumor?
Yeah on purpose, just to see how gullible people are

30) Are Barbie & Ken bad influences on people?
Who?

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
I've thought about it, and it doesnt really matter. Cause its the past, all you can do is make a better future.

32) What are you listening to?
Pressure - Skindred

33) Do you want to have kids?
I'm too young to even think about that, that doesnt mean sex is out =D

34) Ever kissed somebody thats name started with an E?
hm..nope
35) Do you type fast?
yeah, fast enough.

36) Do you have piercings?
yeaaap jst one on my left ear (its new)

38) Can you spell?
spell what

39) What do you miss most about your past?
nothing

40) What are you craving right now?
someone who cares

43) Does somebody love you?
not anymore i guess..

60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
no

61) Are you secretly liking someone?
yeaa =p

62) Do you believe your ex thinks about you?
probably yeah.

63) Who is your 6th best friend?
none

64) Have you ever been betrayed by a best friend?
nope

65) Your hair color?
black

66) Is your house big?
haha how i wish

67) Where is your cat at?
chillin downstairs

68) Have you ever walked outside in the rain?
loads of times haha

69) Do you think you're a good person?
honestly no.

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
yea definately

71) Do you take drugs?
of course

72) Last time you had a nice bubble bath?
when i was 3

74) Whats your middle name?
singh

75) Do you play the Wii?
nope

76) How do you feel about Wal-Mart?
they should stop selling bullets

77) How long have you had a myspace?
neverr

78) Who has inspired you the most?
Marilyn manson

79) Favorite line?
fuck you

80) How old will you be in 4months?
18

81) Are you mean?
In a sarcastic way. Right sandra ? =)

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
If you keep buying new white shoes, they will always look clean =)

83) Do you believe in true love?
yess

84) Do you like roller coasters that go upside down?
YEESS

85) Are you proud of the person you've become?
NOOO

86) Do you wanna change?
nah

87) Do you like to be outside?
YESS

88) What are you looking forward to?
Falling in loove again

89) Are you bored?
Well, no.

90) Do you want to get married?
Not really.

91) Ever fail a class?
yeah

92) Are you hungry?
Not after what I had for dinner no.

93) Do you have a bank account?
nope

94) What makes you happy?
Thats...a very good question.

95) Would you change your name?
I think so.

96) Do you know how to skateboard?
I used to know.

97) Has someone ever sang to you?
Yeaap.

98) Do you watch the news?
Sometimes

99) What is your zodiac sign?
Virgoh

100) How does your bf/gf feel about there ex?
I have no right disclose that information heh

Ok, so I've just suddenly forgotten all about F1. What the fuck is wrong with me? Collage took up so much of my life, I ended up not having one. Up till 30 minutes ago I didn't know who was no.1, where the last race was, where the next race is going to be, all that jazz. Then I rememebered that the Singapore race in September is coming up, and its gonna be the first F1 night race ever. Oh the excitement, I can't wait for this, I just can't miss it. Thinking of all the problems this has the potential of having. First off, Singapore would probably have to close down half the country(jk) then,being a night race, will bring about complications with vision, making it harder for the drivers to see and that means a possibility for some serious accidents or crazy driving to keep us all at the edge of our seats. Then I started thinking, if this race in Singapore works out all well, Malaysias Sepang Circuit is gonna lose a shit load of popularity, people will stop coming here to watch the F1 and the tourism industry will lose out even more. I mean, the rubbish from the previous years F1 is still there. We'll just have to wait and see, another 3 weeks to go.

Some info on the Sing race
Singapore
Race Date: 28 Sep 2008
Number of Laps: 61
Circuit Length: 5.067 km
Race Distance: 309.087 km
http://www.singaporegp.sg/ticket/racemap.php <---Click to see the map.

Next race up, Belgium. I'm still rooting for Massa, and Hamilton can just go dig a hole and die for all I care. Massa's only behind by 6 points, not such a big gap so he still has a chance =D Go Ferrari !

Or so it seemed. My friends had a pretty messy plan going on. But in the end they decided to meet up at Soul'ed out Cafe in Desa Hartamas.(its a great place to eat and hang out). So the plan was for everyone to get there at 7.30pm get our seats and eat and hang out till countdown. I had to pick my friend up too, so I went and got ready extra early and drove to her house and got there at 7.20. And so I waited for her to come..and she did not come, and I kept on waiting for another 40 minutes. By the time she came out it was already 8. Ok, nevermind, we got to Souled Out pretty quick, but what do you know? everyone else was still late. Only a handfull of people were there already, and to top it all off, two groups of friends were there and they didnt know they were each going to the same place, so the tables they booked were seperated from each by an entire floor. The people I went with had a table on the upper air conditioned floor. I went to say to them, then went downstairs to hang out with the other group cause I hadn't seen those people in quite a long time. So as the night progressed we all had our dinner and stuff, more people came late. So the group that had already ate wanted to go play pool at the pool/foosball club Breakers, and so they went there. I waited with the late people to let them finish up their food. Then we walked over to the club to meet them but only half of them were there. When we asked why, they said the group went to Mont Kiara for the countdown, so we played a few games, then walked to Mont Kiara (5 minute walk away) and couldn't find them again. It turns out they went to a Baskin N robins across the road. So we all went to sit there, and then it was countdown and nobody really realised. Then we stoned there deciding what to do next(again) this point the group divided, one part went to a friends house to drink(there was no drinking that night so they got really pissed off too) and I was gonna follow them, but I figured I had to drop my friend back home since i picked her up so i declined. Then they decided to WAlk to Solaris (oh the brains) and I told them to shut the fuck up and let me drive my car there and show them the way. So i walked back to desa to get my car with another friend who left his car there too. I told my friends to wait for me at Baskin n Robins, so when I reached there they could jst follow me. But when i got there, they were nowhere in sight. Once again their brilliance strikes, one of them knew the way, but failed to mention this to me. So I met them at Solaris. This time, they were standing at the balcony, staring at the highway, wondering what to do now. They had paid 10 bucks for vallet parking sadly. They couldn't go in the clubs there cause they didn't want to pay the rm50 cover charge(smartness again) So NOW they didn't want to be in Solaris, and wanted to go back to Desa, but they didn't want to waste the 10 they spent on parking. So i pointed out to a mamak stall nearby there to go and have a drink. Once we had our drinks everyone wanted to go home. And the girl I thought I was sending home went home with someone else without mentioning it to me( oh will it ever end? ) At this point i was ready to kill someone. I could've gone to my friends house and had a great time, instead i was driving around aimlessly, walking around aimlessly, and just not doing anything at all. Well, all in all i can say that this merdeka, was just a seriously big ass piece of shit waste of time. Gnite ya'll. (stupid mother fuckers)

So its become apparent to me that people are starting to pester me for my blog site, so i've gone and privatised all my previous posts for the past 3-4 years =). So nu, merdeka night is coming up, gonna get ready for a long night of fun(hopefully) and if my camera doesnt fuck up on me i'll probably post up some pics. Till then ciao.

Some random murloc i found in Booty Bay in WoW.

Anyway today i went to cc and played online and got top 2 the whole day ! Yay!

Who would've thought something this strange existed.*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harp_guitar*

Best song evar. Hamilton didnt get any points. YEY

sex -A painful activity in which a man, using the stiffest and pointiest part of his pelvic region, repeatedly stabs a female in her crotch until he feels satisfied. Can also take place between two men, in which one male stabs the other in the bum. Lesbian "sex" may be fun and all, but it aint real sex unless there is some sort of stabbling going on, perhaps with a cleverly shaped hand or steel dildo

Ahaha omg i havent posted in a long time. Ok bye!

wee. update